Page 6, The Herald, Thursday, October 25, 1979

It’s Just Not
Mothers’ Day

By Abigail Van Buren

& 1079 by Chicago Tribune-N.Y. News Synd. Inc.

DEAR ABBY; This is for HURT MOTHER, whe did so
much for her daughter while father did nothing. And now
that daughter is grown, mother is treated like dirt, while
father is respected and adored.

For the first 25 years of our marriage, my husband was
either working, sleeping or in taverns, so 1 was both mother
and father to our children. I was the one who made them
wash the dishes, iron their clothes and do their homework. [
also punished them when necessary, so, of course, I was the
“mean” one. The children grew up to adore their father, but
they had many harsh words for me.

Our children are now married, with children of their own.
They have just begun to realize that their father did nothing
that fathers are supposed to do, so when they telephone us,
they ask, “Is Mom there?" -

My husband asks me, “How come they never ask for ME?"

I'm reminded of the old saying, “The oaly ones who don't
make any mistakes are Lhe ones who don't do anything.”

Some day your daughter will realize that.

NOT HURT ANYMORE

DEAR ABBY: The letter from HURT MOTHER jogged
my memory. She said she had done everything for her
children while dad had done nothing.

Well, if I may be permitted my 2 cents worth: My mother
also did a lot for us children, but she spent twice as much
time reminding us of it.

She also spent a lot of time comparing her children. Poor
Dad didn't have time to harp on his sacrifices or make com-
parisons because he was too busy busting his butt to feed us.
He did, however, let us know he loved each one of us for
what we were.

It took me a long time to come to terms with my feelings
for my mother. I've tried time and time again to talk to her
about them, but it always ended in an argument, so I finally
gave up.

lam now the mother of two daughters. I doa Jot for them,
nal because I must be a “good mother,” but because I enjoy
it. | hope that when my daughters have children of their
own, their childhood memories of “mother” will be ones of
security and love—not guilt and disapproval.

BEEN THERE BUT NOT GOING BACK

DEAR ABBY: HURT MOTHER complained because
her college-age daughter knocked herself out showing
respect and love for her father (whe was never around when
she was growing up}, but had very little consideration for
mother, who did everything for her. (Daughter gave father a
beautiful, expensive gift for Father's Day, but on Mother's
Day, it was, “Sorry, Mom, I never got around lo getting you
anything.”)

You explained it by saying that daughter was probably so
accusLomed to seeing her mother around that she was taken
for granted, but she saw so little of dad that he was a
“special treat.”

That's no doubt true, bul ] think there’s anather angle.
Freud was right when he said there is always a special at-
traction between a child and the parent of the opposite sex.
Mothers usually favor their sons, and fathers favor
daughters, and vice versa. Also, mothers and daughters
tend to be competitive, as are fathers and sons, hence the
favoritism shown to dad by his daughter. *

Please tell HURT MOTHER this, it might make her fal)

better.
AMATEUR PSYCHOLOGIST

DEAR AMATEUR: I did, and I hope it does. And your
“amateur” analysis is right on! :

Do you wish you had more friends? For the secret of
popularity, get Abby's‘new booklet: “How To Be Popular;
You're Never Too Young or Too Old.” Send $1 with a long,
self-addressed, stamped (28 cents} envelope to Abby, 132
Lasky Drive, Beverly Hills, Calif, 90212.

_ (Feb, 19 to Mar. 20)

Your Individual
Horoscope

Frances Drake
ARIES

(Mar. 21 to Apr, VES

New career ideas are ex-
cellent, but plan for the long

run. Financial complicaticns .

interfere with immediate
progress Patience!
U

(Apr. 20 to May 20) Ofc

It's a good time to make
holiday plans, though a mate
or close ally at present could
find fault with them. Be
tactful and diplomatic.
GEMINI u

(May 21 to June 20)

Watch nerves and health.
You could be easily agitated at
work, though relations with
partners and family are
CANCER”

ER
(June 21 to July 22) ESP

Local visits and travel with
close ones should be especially
pleasant, though there may be
some agitation in connection

th entertainment plans.
LEO
(July 23 to Avg, 22) Qe

Interruptions could in-
terfere with home im-
provement . projects, or
completion of job assign-
ments, Stilt be alert for
financial opportunity.

my

VIRGO
(Aug. 23 to Sept. 22)

You're liable to attract new
admirera but could be
somewhat impatient with
them. Don't be critical lest
good times go bad.

LIBRA

" (Bept, 23 to Oct, 22)

Household expenses may be
high, but the outlook is good

for long-range domestic -

planning. Don’t Jet small
things get to you,
SCORPIO .
(Oct. 23 to Nov. 21) MAE
An invitation to a wonderful
party should have you in a
good mood, yet minor
irritations could make yon
peevish or sarcastle,
SAGITTARIUS of, Pri
(Nov. 22 to Dee. 21)
Capitalize on career op-
portunity for increased.
revenues, Meanwhile, hidden
costs may put an unexpected
dent in your budget.
CAPRICORN
(Dee 22 ta Jan, 19) VO Set
You should look for op-
portunity. re publishing,

education, and travel..A friend .

though could get’ on your

ner@es or fall to keep a date. °

AQUARIUS
(Jan. 20 to Feb. 18) 2
Tension re career could

- Make you want to get away

from it. all. Use private
Moments constructively and

don’t dwell on slights,
HEY

PISCES

Welcome the opportunity to
introduce your favorite to.
some friends, Stay clear of
ideological disputes and smart
alecky types.

YOU BORN TODAY
naturally gravitate towards
business because of your
desire for financial success.
You like large-scale
operations,

HERMAN

“Will you turn that fan down!’

CROSSWORD

ACROSS 39 Tourists 6)Smallboy 12 Role for
1 Egyptian use them 61 Genn or ’ Joel
sun god 41 Falls behind Durocher McCrae
4Reporter’s 43 June bug DOWN 19 Early auto
question 44 Dozes Surpasses 21 Palm leaf
TAsilk 46 Mountain 2 Abba — (var)
thread range SArachnid 23 Terminate
11 Necrology 50 PuebloIndian 4 Tiny 25 Competer
13 Sense organ 53 Fictional § To noose 26 Author
M4 Israeli dog hero 6 Papal veil Ferber
dance §5 Leprechaun 7 Role for 27 Snares
15 Footway . land Gary Cooper 28 Huge
16 Alfonso’s 56 Pilaster 8 Tier ' 99 Bakery
queen 57 Time of life § Land worker
17 Pitcher 58 Resounded measure 40 Antitoxins
18 Scoff 59 Intend 10.Deface 31 Wine quality
29 Blush Avg. solution thie: 27min. 35 Small mass
oe Letter mie ELLIS WSicRims 48 High note
24 Football JIOL| ETHEL: (Ofris] 40 Extinct bird
wr. etwecenemree| sl
28 Dreams IN Las =a herring
32 Stage re ze E 3 A J it . B NN | 45 Icelandic
whisper XVIES] | IR tale
33 Maple DENOTE MIMOR AIL] 47 Phone part
genus ANOINIBNIOMBENIEIR(O, 48 Sea eagle
34 Garden A 8 a fs 4 T 5 z 7 ree 49 Edible bulb
refresher BIEILIAINIOME | INIAIGIEIS 50 Sandwich
36 Camper's RIEINIAIN TION Sia favarite
need §1 United
37 Twilled $27 59 school org.
fabric Answer to Saturday's puzzle. 54 Couch

‘

the AMAZING SPIDERMAN

By Eugene Sheffer

to j2 73 4 6 7 [8 jo |i.
Ti 12 i 4
is a V7
8 7 9 26 21

23 Pi Ta 25 [26 27
2a 125 30 Yat Er]
kg ¥ 36 36
Vv 33 BER 40
a1 42 aa

a4 48 46 a7 [48 149
so [51 {52 63 54 55
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CRYPTOQUIP _ 8-27,

DKUU DUBJPZV VBBR J¥UU-
KHBZR

DYPUHY

Saturday’s Cryptoquip — LIVELY LOVE LETTERS MAY

LIVE IN MAN'S MEMORY. .
- Today’s Cryptoquip clue: K equals A

The Cryptoquip is a simple substitution cipher in which each
letter used. stands fer another. If you think that X equals 0, it
will equal O throughout the puzzle. Single letters, short words,
and words using an apostrophe can give you clues to locating:
vowels, Solution is accomplished by trial and error.

i}

By Stan Lee and John Romita

am, EME

£Was BRINGING BY--
GRABBEP HiM

© 1970 by Chicago Tribune-+1¥, Hews Synd. inc.

CAN AE
HAVE SPIDER
POWER, Too F

COPYRIGHT 1979 MARVEL COMICS GRO

CORP &Lt

4

the WIZARD OF ID

ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY |
SURE. YOU DIDNT, LENE hs, -@
THE OVEN OK. Poa
ile
Ss gek owt ‘ ght tore ajar

By Brant Parker and Johnny Hart

THIN

im"

KINGDOM OF 10

RECRUITING
- OFFICE

a

KING

B.C.

WANNA HEAR A SUIEY
PIECE OF GOSEIP PY

Goo! WE CAN
USE Soe NEW
Bleep

WRITE (T DOWN ON A
PIECE OF PAPER,

By Garry Trudeau

you MEAN THE
DUKE. GUY WHO GOT SHOT
AMBAZSA- IN IRAN? TM ARAID
generbee LUNI MM TE

MR, ANDREWS, T HAPPEN TO

AWNOU! VOCE KNOWN DUKE FOR | | JF IT HAD BEEN
YEARS, T HOPE You WON'T RE-|} You Reaver ONAL ORY
PUDIATE AN OLD FRIENDSHIP ThL SPRING