By DANNY HAMMOND HIS year is the 155th anni- -versary of the glorious battle by the British for Canadian independence. And the best thing to be remembered about the War of 1812, is the emergence of one of Canada’s sweetest heroines, Miss Laura Secord. Laura’s favorite pastime was simple, and beautiful. Each eve- ning after she had taken her cow for her nightly walk, she would make candy. Hard candy, soft candy, fondants and choco- lates. That girl had boxes and boxes put by for any emergency which could arise. (Historians portray Miss Secord as a beautiful young damsel, but ac- tually her diet of sweets had expanded her considerably.) Now when the war broke out her bleak frontier area was sur- rounded by handsome young sol- diers, running around shooting off guns and generally concen- trating on being wild-eyed cru- saders for liberty and freedom. Laura seized the opportunity, and began to take along choco- lates on her evening walks, which now were around the LABOR HO says labor conventions are serious gathérings where the only jokes made are those about manage- ment? We asked labor leaders if they remembered any light-° hearted sayings over the years. Here are some of the puns and unintentional cracks made by delegates on the floor. Charity makes us leave out the names of the wits, and the conventions where these utterings were re- corded. * * * A woman delegate: “...And I say to you, the way things are going, that we need more women in labor. . .” * * * _At the same Labor Federation convention delegates were de- bating a resolution on consumer prices. A delegate spoke up: “[’ve been shopping with my wife. She knows the problems of trying to make ends meet, and I know them too. And I know every delegate’s wife just like I know my own wife. . .” * * * At a Canadian Labor Con- gress convention in the east a union represenative talked about a verbal agreement with a specific employer who had re- neged on that agreement. As a result his union had difficulties solving the problem on_ hand. He thundered: “These verbal agreements aren’t worth the paper they’re written on...” * * * The same delegate, attending another labor convention, told Was Laura Secord really an American sympathizer? American camps. She really was an American sympathizer at heart, but one night she and her footsore cow strayed out of bounds and were picked up by a British patrol. Well, the obvious thing to do was be very friendly, so she told them all kinds of good things they wanted to know about the wild colonials. They were pleased and glad to accept her chocolates. And after they - had won the battles, rewarded her handsomely with the choco- late concession for North Ameri- ca. (This act is commonly known as The British North America Act.) We Canadians feel proud that we won the war for the British, but the glory is short lived when we realize that we really lost. The notorious U.S. candy mag- nate, Fanny Farmer, moved in and bought out Laura’s com- pany. But, Fanny allowed Laura to keep on selling out her old stock under her own name s0 we wouldn’t be able to see the extent of the Fanny empire. Where will it end? How long must we live in fear of the big American Fannies sitting on us? LAFFS his colleagues about a long and bitter strike his union had to fight: “Last year, we were on strike for 13 months...” : The time had come for the election of officers at. the B.C. Federation of Labor several years ago. The meeting chair- man had suspended regular business, when a delegate rose on a point of information: “I understand the elections were (already) held last night at Lochdale Hall . . .” The dele- gate, whose sympathies are known to belong to an unortho- dox labor group, was referring to the previous day’s caucus meeting at the hall. Said the chairman, not bat- ting an eye: “That’s absolutely right, brother . . . this is just for the record . . .” The ensuing laughter tqok the sting out of the delegate’s accusation. —From the Labor Statesman Historical headlines When the ninth grade in Bloomfield, New Jersey, was studying newspapers, Miss Do- rothea Burns gave the class the assignment of writing some his- torical headlines. Here are some results: FRANKLIN FLIES KITE; GETS BIG CHARGE WHITNEY SOLVES PROBLEM WITH GIN ARABS TO USE NEW COUNTING SYSTEM LOUIS XVI FLIPS LID IN TOWN SQUARE LUTHER FINDS DIET OF WORMS REVOLTING —Saturday Review ____ The Green Table NLY 10 years old, the City Centry Joffrey Ballet of New York has become known as a major dance organi- zation. In its first Toronto visit, at the Royal Alexandra Theatre, eight numbers were seen. Three of these, Olympics, Pas des Deesses and The Green Table, made up a mid-week program. Pas des Deesses, by Robert Joffrey (the company’s artistic director), is a classical ballet patterned to the music of John Field, the 19th Century Irish composer, and intended to evoke the styles of four famous contemporary dancers, three women and a man. It is a gentle thing, fragrant with romance and lyricism, and seasoned with some humor too—altogether as graceful as the composer’s de- lightful melodies. In marked contrast is Olym- pics, choreographed by Gerald Arpino to music by Toshiro Mayazumi. Here the dance idi- om and the music are contem- MOVIES EALITY hasn’t always proved to be pleasant in the impersonal age of man- eating technocracy. Since the turn of the century it has been a fad for serious artists in the West to blame the machine for man’s inhumanity toward man. The problem has been looked at in many ways and one of the more popular manoeuvres has been to attempt evasion by won- dering if reality is really real. Perhaps it is all an illusion? Perhaps life is just a game of dreams? And how can one tell, in the final analysis, what is real and what is merely illusion? In drama, the theme has been explored by Luigi Pirandello, especially in his play, Six Char- acters in Search of an Author. The problem has probably been placed most abstractly, and thus most profoundly, by Sam- uel Beckett, in Waiting For Go- dot. On a high level of artistic performance the theme has come to the screen in recent times by way of Edward Albee’s Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? This in general is also the “message” of Michelangelo An- ominously time), porary and represent the plastic physical grace of athletes in vigorous action—runners, jum- pers, wrestlers, in team and in- dividual effort. All the dancers are men and give the impression that in addition to being well trained in ballet they could pro- bably carry off a few honors in sports competition. Highlight of the evening was The Green Table, a “dance ma- cabre” by Kurt Jooss (music by F. A, Cohen) first presented some 35 years ago, told in the © language of modern dance and employing the stage dynamics of German impressionism. The Gentlemen in Black, dip- lomats all, gather at a peace conference. They all wear slick black dress, brilliant red sashes, _and the masked faces of gro- tesque old men. They harangue and gesticulate and debate—and the result is another war. We see the soldiers go off to ‘the killing, the women left be- hind, the refugees fleeing the _rifice, invaders, the guerrilla ® | the war pro a brothel and, always W 7 figure of Death—the ol ty, the sure winnel. once more, the Geil; Black: at a new peat | ence, which ends in a This bare outline h m justice to the ballet® for its sequences HAE facets—the liquid ™ the women, the slinking greed of | who haunts battlefield front, and the bulky © Death, ever-present A war, a robot, a Golomt ture. ai The Green Table has been something of 4” balletomanes, for het of the most raried 01” forceful feet stam? anger in a tattoo of P day, as after World wi terribly valid, ominoW), i —_ a ait Another film as ‘is reality real? tonioni’s Blow-Up at the Towne Cinema in Toronto. It is not a message in the sense that An- tonioni tells us either that real- ity is or is not — he lets us wonder about it for ourselves— but in the sense that the prob- lem is placed most lucidly and strikingly as a question. In fact, it is the economy with which Antonioni states the question, symbolically at the beginning and end of the movie, that gives the film some of its sharp im- pact. The “message” come in a most attractive package wrap- ped in skilled and _ sensitive camera work, dressed and un- dressed models who often seem to be live, beautiful, but frozen- faced manikins, a glimpse of Beatle-mania in night-life Lon- don, pot-smoking, free-loving psychedelics, and a fast-moving mystery. The film flows with the hectic pace of a day in the life of a Beatle-mopped London: fashion photographer (David Hemmings) who begins to won- der whether or not he has seen a murder committed in a park. While Vanessa Redgrave gets top billing, she come film only for a sho segment of the story: If Antonioni doest” jf explore the philosopls lem very deeply, h®. less asks the que) clearly and entertail™ if you start askin questions about some = obvious symbols in thé may even decide suggesting a lot more the eye. For example, fr ning of this century, Hungry Thirties, Forties, and Cold- escapism, as a syst@l sistent, philosophic reality, seemed to sistent pursuit only ivory-towered indiv! One can’t help Wo Antonioni suggestiNe, . the Psychedelic sixt pism is a growing ne large numbers 0 il towered masses? AN probably not sugee but seeing the film tainly make you th! March 10, 1967—PACIFIC TRIBUNE .