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“TERRACE HERALD, TERRACE, BC..

Sn a RN PE eae eee

site —
Se RS ce

On the second Monday of |

every month we, the fearless,

me crusading press of Terrace
we enter -what we affectionally
m call The lion's den.” -

Sometimes:it's called Vic’ $ ;

m Folly,

But to our gentle readers, it
is the Terrace Municipal
Council.

Faithfully, we report their
adventures in a manner
suitable, we hope, to a family
newspaper, such as The
Terrace Omineca Herald:

Sometimes il’s fun.
mostly, it’s dullsville. ’

OTHERS?

And, we wondered, how
others would cover it, if given
the chance.

Not everyone, we realize,
sits on the edge of his chair,
eyes gleaming pouring over
our council coverage. So we
think there
something -for everyone.

Like the sports fan.

But

Over the air, it might go like

this: - “Good evening, sports
fans, this is Raunchy Ray
bringing, live to you, council

night in Terrace!” (applause

from the bleachers), ;
“There’s the whistle and
Mayor Jolliffe makes a pass at
Mrs. Cooper, but he’s in-
tercepted by Gordon. Rowland
who sweeps the mayor off his
feet by his curling broom!
‘CLOBBERED'

“The mayor tries to get to
his feet but is clobbered by a
‘stream of adjectives in the
outfield. Mrs. Cooper makes a
power play, but, wait a
minute, sports fans, Jumping
Jolliffe lives up to his name
and he comes down into the
Stretch and...oh, the ex-
citement...(more applause,
some boos)...Alderman Clift

"and Johnstone try to block the

plucky mayor but he’s aver
the line with a veto for the first
vote of the game!

“Council goes into a huddle.
Old Jumping Jolliffe circles
them flexing his museles for
another round. And here's the
play! Alderman MacDonald
has a subdivision in his hands
and he's flanked by Clift and

should be |

McAlpine. Jolliffe runs in for ..

a tackle. but. Mrs. Cooper. is
right in there,
Rowland's curling broom ta
trip the mayor and the game is
tied one-all.,.””

“+++

And what about the busy
man-on-the go who hasn't time
to read.all the council news in
the paper?

He's able to catch a con-
densed version on the TV or
radio news,

‘EVENING NEWS'
““Harumph.. -Bood evening.
This is King Tutt with the

news,’

“Council,
Monday, adopted a $3,450,000
paving program to begin in
the Spring.”

“Members agreed to pa¢ing
the streets of Terrace with’
gold after Alderman Mrs.
Edna Cooper said she wanted

nothing but the best for the’

municipality.”

“The local mayor
disagreed, however,
suggested asphalt, a type of
paving used, he indicated, by
other hamlets in the pravin-
ce,’

“‘Alderman Gordon
Rowland’s suggestion for 4
Centennial tiddly-winks
tournament in the curling rink
was unanimously approved by
the good burghers, of this

municipality. A date is still to

be set.” .
ttt

How would Time Magazine -

handle council? Briefly, you
dummy.

TERRACE, B.C, -- By
utilizing a mind well-briefed in
obvious machiavellian
maneuvors, Mayor V.C.G.

|. Jolliffe of this Skeena Valley:

municipality placated already
highly-taxed residents with a
$20,000 volley-ball and tennis
court.

Factions in the municipality
had earlier declared that they
would raise $300,000 by raf-
fling off the chief magistrate
in order.to construct: a
coliseum, which would house

indoor tennis matches; bridge.

tournaments, bingo games, a
snowmobile track and ski hill.
It would have, said Mrs. Edna

capacity for 80,000 - persons,
_ NORAFFLE |
.The mayor, Mr. Jolliffe,

Hs
using “+

in its meeting -

' capitalistic pigs on that.

and ..

‘Cooper, an alderman, seating

scrapped their imaginative -

plans. by not accepting the
offer of being raffled off.
bb +t vs

., Should. one .of those - gilsy

men's - ‘magazine. . cover

council,

. “Tough .Vie-Jolliffe:Je

“toughtowa' Terrace: "lH *
wilde of British Colu bts, and”

ita ©

perhaps ‘we: might =

sed
forward from his;desk in: the.
- ‘smoky - council: cha: abers ;

A. ‘Sometimes 7
Colu umn. By Ron ‘Thody :

RIES

ame

snarled; .~ "IT don’t Scare
easily,”’
The council, four tovigh 1 men

and one tough woman, licked

’ their lips In seething anger.

Something had gone wrong.
Their plan had been to kidnap

the mayor and brutally. work -

serie

him over with a subdivision —

by-law.
> eThought you ‘d dump me,”
eh, hissed Jolliffe, his black
eyes glaring. An icy shivver
ran up the council's collective

back.
“KOOL KAT .
Only the night before, the
mayor while wrestling at
home with his pet cougar,
Kool Kat, four masked men

‘and one woman burst into his

manly recreation room,
“You’re coming with us,”

said one of the men, a white-
hood over his head, sticking .
the loaded end of a. curling .
broom into Jolliffe’s tough,

thick-skinned back. :

“Yeh,” said the tough
mayor. “You just try and get
me. au

With one single Karate
chop, Jolliffe cut down his
attackers, whom he threw to
the cougar to play with.

‘But now it was council time.

“I vote no,” he said,
snarling at the council,

NO OPERA

And with that, the council’s
idea of having an opera house
as a centennial project ended.
Jolliffe’s plan of a wrestling-
boxing arena was pushed

‘through, thanks to the just

plain guts a the tough mayor.

++

Now if Women’s World
covered council, it might
begin something like:

Pert Edna Cooper, radiant
in a midi-length beige pant-,
suit with cute flairs and a
pretly tie of red and gold slung
loosely around her neck

paused. for a moment and’

smiled,

Still smiling, she turned to
the mayor of Terrace, Mr.
Vietor Jolliffe, and said,
sweetly: “Women’s Lib is
here to stay, buster, and don’t
you forget it!”

“Now: Edna,” replied. the
male mayor, “Pii'surd We cal
work something-out with your

help to better serve the female.:

population of our town,”

MINI'S OUT?

“You can’t Stop us ‘now,
Vic..,council is over-riding
your veto. The pant-suit
bylaw is going through ‘and
mini’s are out,’’ she. said,
firmly, before the whimpering
mayar.

+++
Now, if one of the un-
derground newspapers, like
Vancouver's Georgia Strait,
covered council, —- :
Those lackeys of the
Establishment sitting like.

council in Terrace are full of
you know what, dig?

Like, digit, This Jolliffe guy
plays mayor, just like that.
Tom Campbell and he says the
kids of this town need a place
to let off some steam, ‘eh?’
Okay, So the council agrees.

They want this unhip coffee .

house deal with chaperones

-and ministers and the heat,.

che ain't with it:

like he probably means un-
dercover -narcs from the
mounties to hassle us over
doing up our thing, dig?

. Okay. This one alderman,

His name is Johnstone. Like,
He says he
thinks ‘‘al] those damn hippies
should get their hair cut and

be forced to go to work | camps |

if they can’t get a job.”

‘Like, that would up our cool
scene with copping all, this
juicy welfare. He's a real
work freak,

Then a Mr. Rowland Says,
"Give ‘em sports. That'll
keep the little creeps off the

. streets and teacli ‘em to cur]

and stuff like that, He didn’t

_ Mean our hair, either.

-- gatd he was the Green Horne!

. veal bummer,” - * 7
Another. alderman ‘rode his
“curling: broom..;up -

We see it this way. Them
kooks on that council aren't
hip lo where we're at, Like
we all want to be different and.
left alone to collect .cur:
welfare and smoke dope, dig?’ -.
We're the revolution and
we're taking over, - dig; nity
baby? Right on! ..

Okay.: So dig this, my rah
aquariais. We slipped acid

‘jnto their coffee and, oh boy, it

was weird; -a real freaky
scene.
Jolliffe kissed this woman

aderman and the other guys’

‘were Jaughing themselves
allly and,: like, one of them.

jumped upon: the :table. an
while : vanother alderman’:
of a window, Giiess he had,

-Lakelse °

‘saying he was: the:good. wih

‘ofthe’ west: whil

“flapped his arms and flew out

‘ari
~* followed a what : ‘he: dalled aoe

Sheree to pumperdime.” ”

ae

yellow brick road. .
Really freaky man. °

Maybe. what iim trying ‘to
say is this; you can always
trust your good, old Terrace »
Herald for fair and unbiased
reporting of council in: our
news columns once a week.

We: may be a little old-
fashioned. But., -welike it'that

way.

° Signi ina bakery: “Because
of inflation, the name of our
Pumpernickel bread has beén

“Announcement was ‘made’
today. by the Attorney-General’s:

Office of a proclamation made
on Detember.15, 1970-by ‘the

Lievtenant-Governor which will
bring into effect on September.
1, 1971. certain’ amendmenis |'
miade- “40° the Motor-Vehicle Act .

in 1988,

Is. to bring in’ a aystem of

‘Classified Driver Licences in
British Columbia. After Sep- :
tember 1, 1971, all’ dvivers.-

licences will be classified ac-

cording to the type of: vehicle -
the driver is qualified. to:
operate.. There will be six’

classifications of licences -with

special classifications. being |

assigned to the drivers of the

“large highway tractor-trailer
‘eombinations,’ buses, large
“trucks that. carry a gross
svehicle weight over - 24,000
‘pounds, and taxis, Special skill
‘tests will be required of the
‘drivers who fit within. -these
‘Classifications and’ medical

“~L reports will be n
 The- effect of the amendments ‘

ecessary to
‘determine: physical ° fitness to

operate the vehicles.
Most, drivers: will fit in a.

“eategary which will encompass

|apassenger vehicle operators

“and the drivers of small and
“medium sized trucks, Persons
:Who fall within this. category
‘will mot face any additional
licensing requirements than
presently exist. An additional
Brouping covers persons who

=e eee

TAKES. EFFECT | IN a
New set: up for

quality in the special tests for
motorcycles drivers. ----

The system. of licence

classification which will be
carried out in British Columbia
isthe method agreed upon by all
the Provinces of Canada at the
recent meeting of the Provin-

‘clal- Ministers Responsible for -

Motor Vehicle Administration.

It is another stepin the program -

to develop in all the Canadian
Provinces uniform approaches
to problems of motor vehicle
administration. It .ig expected
that several other Pravinces
will be converting their driver
licensing methods to the new
system in 1971,

Ithas been the requirement i in
British Columbia to issue

‘lisdhting '

_Tequired.

_.-. MONDAY, JANUARY 11, 1971

separate. licences to persons.
who are employed as chauf-
feurs and there haye : been:
special categories to cover bus’
“drivers and taxi drivers and to

quaiify ‘for these licences,
certain types of skill tests and
medical examinations were
However, the large
group of chauffeurs who fall
within the class of heavy truck
and tractor-trailer drivers have
never been required to take skill
tests or produce evidence of

. medical fitness.

The types of vehicle these
truck drivers operate certainly
requires that they display

.| Satisfactory skills and that

there be
examination.

periodic
The

re-
new

‘in September,

| classtties ieencing syatem w
Took after this deficlency,:-

-All persons who. have. held.
chauffeurs licences in 1970 and.

to. still operate as . chauffeurs
will be required tc renew their
‘chauffeurs licences in 1071 in
the manner that has. been the
practice up to now. The con
version to the classified system
1971 ~ will
eliminate the need for.” any
further renewal of chauffeurs
licences after that date. :

The announcement from the
Altorney-General’s Office
states that all Motor Licence
Offices throughout™ British
Columbia will have. suitable
forms to assist. chauffeurs in
obtaining their 1971 licences ” ,

~ ADORN

“BALE, EA.

RIGHT GUARD
7 DEODORANT.

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