The Terrace Standard, Wednesday, Janvary 27, 1999 - BI

TERRACE STANDARD.

INSIDE
COMMUNITY

SECTION B

EVENTS B2

CHARLYNN TOEWS

ome decor magazines really should
carry a health warning about their
addictive and ultimately harmful
nature.

Oh, it starts out innocently enough, a grocery
shopper picking up a magazine or two for oc-
casional or “‘recreational’’ use. Pretty soon,
though, a home decor magazine is in the shop-
"ping cart every single lime: it has become a
“need,’’ a must-have like bread, milk and toilet
paper. The reader is now hooked.

_-In the denial stage of the addiction, the user of
home decor magazines feels no embarrassment
in loading up the cart with two, three or four
magazines at a time, When you're consuming a
mag a day, you wish you could buy them by the
carton. ~
” The first inkling the user has that there may be
a-problem is starling to hide the amount used,
The hooked person goes from newsstand to
» drug slore magazine rack to convenience store,
until every source in town is known and
patronized. A sinking fecling sets in about the
expense of the habit: if you need a hit of high-
gloss full-colour home decor pictorials, you are
paying $6.50 a pop. Not including the taxes.
You may begin to wonder, is it the government
who's addicted to these, or is it just me?
Here’s a typical How-I- hit-bottiom scenario.
- You scan a supermarket rack with desperate
eyes. You look at title after title with increasing
. dread as you realize each cover seems somehow
old, used, overly familiar: you have already pur-
' chased them, they are, to you; consumed, fin-
ished, dust, This is the second, time you’ve
visited this rack this week, because you have
checked: ail your, other sources. and found the
. Same dry desert of boues.

These already-read magazines send a shudder

down your spiie, like seeing row alter row of
. the living dead, mocking you, It'is only the

fifteenth, and you have already read every home

decor magazine published for the month. You
are forced to go cold-turkey. Withdrawal symp-
toms set in quickly. Craving interior design, you
may find yourself admiring the rystic, casual
decor of the three bears’ house.

“*] like those muilioued windows aud aob,
look, nice wainscoting,’ you might say, instead
of “And somebody's been sitting in MY
- chair.’ And instead of discussing the wisdom

of building slowly and with strength, you natter
on about the charming fireplace in the third
little pig’s house. ‘‘See that mantel top, it looks
like vinlage mebogany. And the combination of
stonework and tile with the brick is very effec-
tive,””

This. is where the real bealth hazard comes in,
Beyond the expense, the deceptions and the
guilt, there is the distorted sense of. realily that
takes hold. Living in a dream-world, with your
nose buried in the pages of over-the-top
glamour and surrealistic minimalism, your
jaded eyes, should they glance up to your own
home, will be filled with disdain.

‘The low of the rooms is all wrong,’’ you
criticize your house, “this wall should be
removed, a bank of cast-facing windows in-
stalled to catch the morning light, the toilet and
tub switched, a second storey added, the mud
room enlarged, the entrance made more gra-
cious and inviting, the dropped ceilings raised

and the basement dug deeper,’

‘In the February, 1999 issue of Architectural

Digest, hideous flowered wallpaper is removed

from a'dining room and replaced wilh soothing-

ly delicate buttery stripes, On the next page we
sec how a weak and uninspiring yellow library

is enlivened and warmed by the addition of a

vigorous floral wall covering. A lakeside

‘‘cotiage’’ is-completely redone because it em-
bodied “everything that was wrong with the

sixlics,’* especially knotty-pine pancling, which

Was ripped out and replaced with classic white

plaster. A few pages later, a seaside mansion

exchanges dull drywall for homey yet elegant

_pine panels. You can see the knots in the photo,

they lend a cerlain ruggedness.

” The message is subtle yet repetitive: what we

have already is not good, because it is what we

already have, We must cliange it. If the kitchen
has white painied cupboards, they are “stark
and cold’? and must be replaced with warm,
deep-stained wood, If the kitchen bullt-ins are
dark wood they are ‘‘dreary and dim’’ and must
be replaced with something light and fresh: like
white painted wood,

Alright, [ admit it, I’m stil) using, although
I’m cutting back, or trying to. It is hard to quit,
But I realize lhe harm [ am doing to my house
and my family and I am going to stop real soon.
My only question is, patch or gum? Perhaps the
Good Housekeeping Seal would work as a

~ Decor Derm Patch.
And 1 will repeat affinmations to myself: My
house is worthwhile, my house: is tioble and

mb pleasing, I love my house.

THE BEST OF Terrace questionnaire may
not say much about future mayoral candi-
dates (one person suggested Hustler pub-
lisher Larry Flynt!), but it does say some-
thing aboul our sense of humour.

With more than 80 responses to. the
questionnaire, this much can be said: There
are more dangerous intersections in Terrace
than there are people who drink B.C. wine.
‘Most people would rather spend their last
$10 on coffee, but the Canucks will most
likely put them to sleep.

OMM UNITY- a

The best of Terrac

The majority of peaple who responded
said skateboarders are hip, but they would
rather watch them skate outside of city
limits.

There are no good reasons to watch’ the

Canucks except. that rumour has it that
Michael Jordan is coming to play.

And more people also want to roast cily
councillors than wienies.

- Below are the top three rankings in each
category and some comments about other
entries that were simply hilarious.

Best Terrace

pastime:

1. Outdoor living (hiking and camping)

2, Fishing

3. Mushroom picking ;
While the top three answers are all popular
things to do, we liked these answers, tao:
Jaywalking, cruising mainstreet, making babies
and growing bananas,

Best example of your
tax dollars at work:

1, Upgrading city streets

2, Building a skatepark

3. Pool renovations

Although the answer ‘‘there is none’? was com-_
mon, other popular responses included the li-
brary, snow removal and the new lights at
Kalum Street and Park Avenue.

Best reason to
continue watching the
Canucks:

1, There are no good reasons

2. To watch the other teams win

3. It shows there’s something worse than B,C.’s
economy.

According one local, there's a good looking
stick boy to check out. But if he’s not around,
the Canucks are also a great cure for insomaia.

Best place to spend
your last $10:

1. Ground Works

2. Lottery wicket

3. Don Diego’s

Others wrote, ‘'Don't spend it, donate it to the
food bank.”

manager of

CHEERS: Alexis Chicoine,
Sround Works, makes a latte,

Most unusual place
for a romantic walk:

1. The oid cemetery (preferably in the dark)
2, Ferry Island

3. Skeena Mall

Why anyone would want to gel romantic in a
graveyard, we really don’t know. The dump was
an ofiginal response and so was walking the
Howe Creek trail, but only in the dark.

Best beach around

town:

1. Grachy’s Beach
2, Lakelse picnic site
3, Red Sand Lake

Best hike:

1. Terrace Mountain
2. Sleeping Beauty
3. Thornhill Mountain

Best new ‘trend:

1. Snowboarding
2. Baggy pants
3. Coffee bars

_ One enthusiast wanted to seé more nudist sun-
_. bathing at Lakelse Lake, Yoyos are also cool
... aiid so are cargo pants.

Worst new trend:

1, Body piercing

2. Baggy pants

3. Cell phones

Baggy pants? You either love them or hate
them. Other sad trends are businesses closing
and people moving away to find work. Tube
tops have also gotta’ go.

IN THE FAMILY: Adam Kurth and his sister
Pam are proud of their body piercings.

Best place to feel like

you're in a hipper city

than Terrace:

1. Ruins

2. Don Diego’s

3. Groundworks

Skaters make Terrace hip. Cool, dude!

Best place to watch

skateboarders:

1. Arena parking lot

2, On TY

3. Emergency ward

Watch out skaters! One person, wrote in,
‘through the scope of a rifle.’ Other popular
answers were: outside of city limils and skate
videos.

Best place to take
visitors:

1. Shames Mountain

2. Mount Layton Hotsprings

J, Lava beds

One resident takes visilors straight to, the cash
machine while another would rather take then
to the airport. See ya!

Best watched Tv
program:

1. Simpsons

2. BR.

3. (tie) Jerry Springer and South Park -
BCTV is still popular and so is MASH. Does
that mean people here like EWS about wart

Best place to travel to:

1, Vancouver

2. Mexico

3. Okanagan

A lot of people said they + were happy jusl to go
to the bar.

Worst intersection

in Terrace

1, Lazelle and Eby
2. 7-11 intersection (Ottawa and Lakelse) :
3. Overpass

This could possibly be the cheapest ttaflic poll
2... "Terrace has ever dove, Basically locals say the.
~ © whole downtown core is hazardous, One person .
“wrote, ‘So is where the canned vegetables aisle

meets the dairy aisle at Safeway.’* «

Readers! |

Mighty Moe

Best replacement

for mayor:

1. Mighty Moe

2, Me!

3, Anyoue but Jack Talstra n

Mighty Moc was the runaway! winner. Ian
Hamilton was fourth in this category and ‘Deb-

bic Scarborough was fifth. :

Larry Flynt garnered one-vate.

Best reason to be
thankful you live here

and not in Vancouver:

1. Less traffic

2. Lower crime

3. Less pollution

One loca! said he’s thankful he’s in Terrace be-
cause there ish’t a pro hockey team here to be
ashamed of. Others like the fact that there aren’t
any parking meters here. Special mention:
There’s no clinice to make between Earl’s and
the Keg.

Best reason to move
back to the Lower
Mainland:

1, More variety of everything

2, None

3. Medical specialists

Common response: Move back? Are you kid-
ding?

Best B.C. wine:

1. Geay Monk

2. Sawmill Creek

3. Scottie's U-Brew

Locals say they prefer beer.

Best place to do
little, slowly:

1, Coffee shop

2. Library

3. Council neetings

Other nifty places included the Mall food court,

school, MeDonald’s drive thru and the. lincup at

the Bank of Montreal,

Best place to have a

wienie roast:

1. Lakelse Lake

2. My backyard
3. Ferry Island

‘One person wants to roast wicenits at a city

council mectings, others want into the Canucks’
dressing room,