______ HIS Week July 11, 1990. Page M19 NIGHT LIFE — It’s still boy meets girl at cabarets but one night stands out of vogue By LYONEL DOHERTY eS Special to This Week. n the words of a former night club-goer, women want men to be honest, while the men want women to be beautifull Are these aspects of human nature too much to ask for? Some 5 women argue that men’s attitudes have never changed, while some men say they have, noting they prefer brains over beauty. In any case, most people agree that first impres- sions are important, and making a good one is even more so. There’s no doubt that for young adults, the night __ club scene in Victoria is where the action is. Itis a e to meet friends, show off anew outfit, catch up mec latest gossip, dance, mingle with strangers elirt with the opposite sex. e cabaret scene is one of fantasy and adventure, ys Janice Devlin, operations manager of Club wetieeeenia and Pier 42. ning is possible — you can be whoever you OF he,” Devlin said. The 41-year-old is the “boss and mom” of 55 staff members, who are like family to her. With 20 years experience in the service industry, Devlin does all the scheduling, hiring, promotion and problem-solving for the two clubs. So what attracts young men and women to night clubs? Devlin said it’s simply the enjoyment of meet- ing friends and having a good time. “It’s like a party in your best friend's basement while the parents are away for the weekend,” she said. Social attitudes in cabarets have changed quite a bit over the past 10 years, Devlin noted. Today’s clubs .. aren't just pick-up places or pit stops for one night stands, she added. Ten years ago, it was the thing to throw back drinks and see how drunk you could get. People didn’t know ow to dance very well and didn’t know how to social- izeé-with 300 people in one room, Devlin said. And leading a promiscuous life was more common, she noted. That era is described well in the song Bedsitter by =the group Softcell: ~ “Out in club-land having fun, and now I’m hiding from the sun, waiting for a visitor, though no one knows I'm here for sure — laughing, dancing, drink- —ing, loving, and now I'm all alone in bedsit land, my only home.” But today’s young adults are more responsible and cautious about the risks of this type of behavior, Devlin pointed out. i “These guys (staff and patrons) keep me young... but * J wouldn’t want to be 19 — there's a lot of peer pressure and expectations for them.” Because competition is fierce in the cabaret busi- ness, Devlin likes to attend the clubs she manages to find out what the young people are all about. She studies their manners, clothes, hairdos, dance styles and even beverage preferences. “Gone are the weird haircuts,” Devlin noted, adding that today’s patrons are very classic-looking. But dolling yourself up to “knock ’em dead” is just part of the night club “game’ that people play, accord- ing to a former player. Tami, a 25-year-old sociology student at the Univer- sity of Victoria, said she quickly grew tired of the cabaret scene after realizing what went on. 3 “I resented the fact that you were there to be ob- served .. . and if you didn’t meet up to the standards ... you were ignored.” Night clubs are built on image, Tami said. A guy would approach you, glance for a couple of seconds, then either stop or go on to the next girl. “Tve seen a lot of people get hurt,” the woman said, referring to young women giving themselves to men in one-night stands. It's sad that some females get caught up in the myth that they're going to meet the man of their dreams at a night club, Tami said. She admitted that’s what she thought would hap- pen to her. One-night stands are worse than going home alone because it’s like being used and thrown away, Tami said. Instead of the slick come-ons, the woman said she WAITING TO DANCE, this crowd also waits to per- form an age-old ritual: girl meets boy. would prefer a guy to be honest in his approach — for example, a guy who shows he’s interested in you as a person might want to talk in a quieter atmosphere LEGAL ACTION fel problems and require 24 hours a day. MORAHAN BARRISTERS FAMILY PROBLEMS? lf you're experiencing marital or family professional advice call the Legal Action Hotline and receive consultation from a lawyer, 384-1040 PRIVATE, PROFESSIONAL, PROBLEM SOLVERS = AUJLA SOLICITORS COMMUNITY BIRTHDAY PARTY CRAGGY CROQUET TOURNAMENT over a cup of coffee. “I hope men are allowing themselves to be honest,” said Tami, who finds socializing much better in pubs these days. Meanwhile, Jeff, a local 19-year-old, admitted that his prime motivation at night clubs is to “pick up ils.” ois idea of a perfect evening is to attend a cabaret with friends, meet a good-looking girl whois not brain dead and, if she’s willing, take her home and have sex. At least he’s honest. But amidst this type of behavior, Jeff realizes the risks he’s taking. Night clubs are acceptable places to indulge in these “temporary engagements,” he pointed out. Jeff’s friend, Garrett, who leads a less-promiscuous life, said he goes to clubs with clean reputations, places where you don’t have to worry about getting into a fight. He likes girls as much as the next guy but doesn’t have time to get seriously involved with them, he said. He got a kick out of describing Jeff’s pick-up routine at a club: “He hangs around the edge of the dance floor, looking for a good-looking girl. When he finds one or two, he gives them the eye. If they return his gaze favorably, he asks them to dance and starts a conversation. After one or two dances, he sits down with them and judges their reaction.” “But you can’t be too pushy,’ Jeff interjected. Shannon, a full-time political science student at UVic, said more people look down at one-night stands because theyre no longer socially acceptable. Her idea of a perfect evening is to get a group of 30 people at a cabaret to “rub shoulders’ with and dance the night away. “But I really like flirting. When I don’t get attention, I get a little depressed.” The 20-year-old woman said she leaves herself open for future dates with nice guys who are honest but not overwhelming. “Lies don’t work. If he gives me too many compli- ments, I have doubts ofhis intentions,” Shannon said. The woman pointed out that she likes a guy to treat her with respect, to be a gentleman and show genuine interest in who she is. For a lot of women it’s natural to shy away from strange men and be on the defensive when they come up to you, Shannon noted. “We shy away and automatically assume there are sexual intentions.” Brian, 22, frequents local night clubs but has reser- vations about the atmosphere they create. Loud cabarets make it difficult to socialize, and in fact, some aren't very social at all, Brian said. It seems everyone has a guard up, especially women who think, “Oh no, here comes another guy,’ he said. There's a stereotype — if a person goes to a night club all the time, it is assumed he or she has great expectations, Brian said. “It’s a fantasy.” The young man said he uses non-verbal com- munication to catch the eye of a girl he would like to meet. This communication involves nodding or smil- ing. Or ifhe’s standing at the bar, he tries to strike up a conversation with a member of the opposite sex. Brian said you can tell within a minute if the girl is interested in continuing the encounter. And even if she’s not, there’s always another night and another nightclub. . . COME 10 OUR 100TH BIRTHDAY PARTY! Bring your own picnic* CRAIGDARROGH CASTLE (‘parking at Central High) * Concessions on site. HISTORICAL MUSEUM SOCIETY 1050 Joan Crescent, Victoria,B.C. Canada V8S 3L5 (604) 592-5323 SAT., JULY 14 10 AM - 4 PM Craggy Croquet Invitational Tournament, 5th B.C. Field Battery Band ... Cake Cutting 2 pm ... Royal Victorians Heritage Fashion Show ... Vancouver Island Scottish Country Dancers ... Victoria Carriage Rides ... Clown, and puppets for the kids (prizes too) ... and free tours of the Castle!!! for a day of fun and celebration. FREE ALL DAY LISTEN TO for details of the Centennial.