Opinion

TheReview Wednesday, September 12,1990 — AI5

Two months ago I got a letter from a publisher
in Toronto soliciting, from “artists, writers and
teal people,” accounts of their meetings with the
giants of our time. They were talking about capital
4p Famous.

“This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to
unload that dazzling conversational doodad
you've been dining out on all these years,” the
editors wrote.

“The elevator ride with Salvador Dali and his
lynx belly coat? How about that time you smoked
the joint with Bob Dylan at Machu Picchu, ate a
donut with Glenn Gould or shared a cab with
Twiggy? If it happened to you and it took less
than ten minutes we want to hear about it!”

Today I got a second letter. It’s not that I’ve
been avoiding their earlier request for an anec-
dote, it’s just that I can’t think of any.

Either I brush with greatness so often I don’t
know when it’s happening anymore, or else it
never happens — which amounts to the same
thing. There have been a few people, but it took
longer than ten minutes. And after ten minutes
most people don’t seem so great anymore.

Several years ago I dreamed of telling some
famous poet, whose name I can’t recall, “Fame is
a private thing in the mind.” In other words, if you
haven’t heard of someone, is he or she famous?

Some other questions I’d like to ask the editors
— can writers and artists be great, or only “real
people’? What if the writers are truly dead? Or
foreign? What if they are truly dead and it
happened in another country?

I once almost met W.-H. Auden at a conference
in Macedonia, but he wouldn’t stay in the same
hotel as the other writers. Katharine Hepbume
visited the Natural Health Food store in Sidney
two weeks ago when I wasn’t there. I nearly went
out of my way to meet Bob Dylan once, until I
met someone who had and didn’t think I should.

Then there was the time I almost met Mick
Jagger in New York, only I didn’t want to go to
Studio 54 because I’ve never liked discotheques. I
didn’t know Studio 54 was famous until I got
back to Canada and saw a picture of it in
Maclean’s.

I might suggest to the editors a sequel called
Near Brushes with Greatness. I could contribute
lots.

Yesterday I read an inspiring interview with
Elizabeth Bishop about how she celebrated win-
ning the Pulitzer Prize by eating two Oreo cookies

Brushes with greatness

on a mountain peak in Brazil. Her picture was in
the paper the next day and a friend of hers was in
the market buying vegetables at the covered stall
they always went to.

The vegetable man said, ““Wasn’t that Dona
Elizabetchy’s picture in the paper yesterday?”’
Her friend: “Yes it was. She won a price.” And he
said, “You know, it’s amazing. Last week Sonora
(Somebody) took a chance on a bicycle and she
won! My customers are so lucky!”

I may be straying. I’m famous for that. But what
I’m most famous for is meeting, and not recogniz-
ing, famous people. For instance I once mistook
Bill Vander Zalm for Bill Bennett in an elevator at
the Harbour Towers; or vice versa.

And then there was the time I sat next to Corey
Hart on a plane coming up from Los Angeles in
1984. He had the aisle seat so — wait a minute,
maybe I do have an anecdote to contribute — I
had to keep climbing over him on my way to the
washroom. Capital C Corey was sprawled out,
trying to sleep. When he realized how futile that
was he opened his newspaper to the Top of the
Pops.

When we struck up a conversation (Me: “What
do you do?’’) I learned he had a hit. Alas, I had
never heard of it. Or him. But, then again he had
never heard of me, either.

I told him the story of my life and he said he
thought my life was “unbelievable” and then,
before ten minutes was up, pretended to go to
sleep. As we were landing I extended an invitation
to him to stay in my guest house where other
giants of our time had slept before him (Margaret
Atwood, to name a few) but he must have got the
wrong idea because he quickly said his girlfriend
was flying in from Montreal, and they’d take a
hotel.

I haven’t exactly been getting any free lunches
on that doodad because there are still those
people about who do not keep on top of the Top of
the Pops. My adolescent babysitters, however, are
impressed.

I'll catch them whispering behind the celebrity
mags at Tanner’s — “she flew on the same plane
as Corey Hart,” and for a moment, by association,
I become Famous too. This is perhaps the
“momentary refocusing of scale” the editors are
talking about, the fleeting moment that vanishes
as I emerge back out on rainy Beacon Avenue
with the honking cars and the mud puddles.

CHARVIDEN

Door & Window

Specialists
(Sidney location now open)
OFFICE: 9771-4th St.
655-4648 Bus. ONS ech |

361-6301 Mobile.

DISTRICT OF NORTH SAANICH
PARKS COMMISSION

The District of North Saanich is accepting applications from persons
interested in serving on the Parks Commission. The Parks Commis-
sion advises Council on matters relating to parks and trails in the
District. Three appointments for two-year terms will be made at the
September 17, 1990 regular Council meeting.

Interested persons should forward their names to:
Mrs. Joan E. Schill, Municipal Clerk
District of North Saanich, 1620 Mills Road
(mailing address: P.O: Box 2639
Sidney, B.C. V8L 4C1)

by Thursday, September 13, 1990.

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The Victoria & Area White Pages

are now closing.
(also Saanich Peninsula Neighbourhood Directory)

Now/’s your last chance to check your listing to make
sure Its accurate and up-to-date—you may want

to include other family members.

If you represent a business, now’s the time to add or
alter your listing. Also be sure to check the names and
positions of key employees for possible listing additions
or revisions. Charges apply for changes and extra listings.

Call your B.C Tel Customer Service or ice ee your
opportunity fades away.

Toe Serorita

RECYCLE

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