Sige ine ote atic ne gta © ln a to be put to sleep, but gone re ae sf ouquets to Dr. Mike » High who showed a great compas- sion for a fellow crea- ture. We took.an in- jured seagull to-him after finding the bird stranded and in pain at the side of the road. Unfortunately, _ the bird’s injuries were too severe, and it had the vet showed great compassion. ; Holy Sidney Bushels of bouquets - to Scoty Starr, a local senior citizen who has devoted much time to - a wide spectrum of . groups across the Penin- sula for many years. She has been an active volunteer with — the RCMP, fire hall, house-bound elderly people, veterans groups and much more. Her worl and dedication is very much appre- ciated. ; ; he Sidney Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest citizens. ~ It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then — we elected them. ; - Lily Tomlin - Ah, the Antipolitician Bandwagon is an easy one to hitch a ride on, but I'll pass this time. The poor slobs we send to Ottawa and to our provincial capitals have enough people slagging them day and night with- out my.added tuppenceworth, Truth is, 1 don’t have high hopes for any politi- cians. These are people who usually started out as lawyers — and went down- hill from there. I don't expect them to re- --flect qualities like honesty, scruples or, 0: integrity, - wives Hell, I'd be happy if politicians were just a little funnier, I'd settle for comic relief, There was atime when politics and humor knew how to dance, The greatest comedic putdown in the history of the English language sprang from the lips of a British political malcontent by the name of John Wilkes. Wilkes was responding to a slur from a political enemy, the Earl of Sandwich, who had told him: “Pon my word, Wilkes, I don't know whether you'll die on the gallows or of the pox.” ae ‘To which Wilkes silkily rejoined: “That must depend, my Lord, on whether I first embrace your Lordship, prin- ~ ciples, or your: Lordship's mistresses.” eS Somehow } can't hear Mike Harris voicing a comeback © Hike that. The Brits of course are past masters at the art of ~~ political wit — none more so than the grandmaster of the century, Sir Winston Churchill: _ Churchill, who once cast a withering. gaze across the floor of the House of Commons at the honorable Leader. of (he Opposition and pronounced him “a modest little man... with much to be modest about.” Mok gh dey? Churchill, who once described political skill ag “the abil- ‘funny thing happene y thing happene to et 4 ity to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next : ns ~ week, next month and next year. And to have the ability af- terwards to explain why itdidn’thappen.”. We've had our share of witty politicians on this side of ay TrrTrrrcrrrerrrrrerrereereerrereree eee eer preparation for concerts, special units of study and hot lunch days. We will honor you in person on Fri- day, June 4, 9:30 to 10:30 a.m. with a Parent Appreciation Tea, com- plete with a choir performance. Staff and students Sidney elementary school A Grande-sized bou- - quet to Jim, who was working at the BC Ferries pay parking. terminal when an over-tired re- porter returned to the Island for work early Monday morning and - Short.on his weekend parking’ bill: A’ non- _ functioning ATM ma- chine aboard the Spirit of Vancouver Island (combined with a lack of passenger terminal) was: to ection the water — mostly in the past, alas. Abe. Lincoln was a pretty funny guy. Homely too — but he didn’t sweat it. > “The Lord prefers common-looking peo- makes so many of them.” - Lyndon Johnson, despite outward ap- pearances of classic Crude O!' Boyism — had a sharp tongue on him. “Oh, Gerry Ford's a nice enough guy,” he once said of the 1.Q.-challenged future President, “He just played too many football games without a helmet.” Here in Canada, humorous politicians are about as plentiful as palm trecs ... but the few we've had weren't half bad. Sir John A, McDonald to political col- Icague D'Arcy MeGee: “Took here, McGee, this govern- ment can't afford to have two drunkards. You've got to " J ohn Diefenbaker on political polls: “Polls? 1 have no time for polls, You know what dogs do to poles...” “Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau to Progressive Conser- valive critics in the House of Commons complaining about his new swimming pool: "You may come over at any lime to practice your diving. : re at “Even before the water is in,” . Mostly though, when our Canadian politicians enter a: ~ duel of wits, they go in barehanded. As in the case of Mitchell Hepburn, one-time Liberal premier of Ontario. —\ Speaking from the back of a manure spreader to a ~ group of farmers during a political campaign, Hepburn de- . ejded to-try and be witty, “Gentlemen,” he announced “This is the first time in my life that] have spoken from a Tory platform.” : . {r ‘From the back of the crowd came the growl of a farmer “Throw ‘er in low gear, Mitch, she’s never had a bigger load on." a wees a usd . came up a few dollars . ISLAND PACIFIC FEMALE HOCKEY ASSOCIATION bank machines in the foot-. . Bo aes blame for the shortage of cash: and: Jim was more than under- |. standing with my plight. The small / =. sum-has been repaid but his kind manner in | ad ie , what could have been an embarrassing situation deserves 2 ahs Mt a Feat oR ghd staa EP ae, ~ an extra thank-you. — BP Ete POPE re Be f - Teacups of bouquets to the parents who have helped out’). aera eee throughout the school year with transportation, field trips, BBage eo ae ple,” said Lincoln. “That's the reason he Still Playing Wed & Thurs _ 7:15 WALDE THEMUMMY LIFEISBEAUTIFUL PG Fri & Sat 9:00 Tue, Wed, Thu 7:00 THE MUMMY a Sat & Tue BARNEY'S GREAT ADVENTURE GEN CHILDREN OF HEAVEN PG i : Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon 7:15 suis aE Tue 2:15 89:20 | A WALK ON THE MOON \4A Thu 9:15. | Tue 2:00 Wed & Thu 7:15 PREMIERING THURS., JUNE 10 AT.9:30 ONLY AUSTIN POWERS THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME _Star(nema Saturday June 12th 8 am to 4:30 pm Bring the whole family! (A member of South Vancouver Island Minor Hockey Association) Registration for 1999/2000 Season | Levels: 2 A Junio se 8-13. years ntermediate- = —s*14-18 years | Women (Competitive): 17-25 years. Tuesday June 1 and Wednesday June ae For more information please contact: Herb Dragert 652-2471 Fu for The News Review is publishing an events. program with 14,000 copies to be “distributed June 23. the To advertise In the Peninsula News” Review's events booklet, contact Lori, “Jean or Bruce for further Information . call 6 5O-00 50 eee) ti