Wednesday, October 22, 1986 Banks ‘have taken all the fun out of lining up. Remember the old days when the only exciting thing about going to a bank was participating in the lineup contest? Each teller would have a string of customers in front of him or her and the job was to guess which string would shorten first. A quick but careful scrutiny would pick out the obvious pitfalls in each line: the man from the store hefting a bag jam- med with the weekend’s take;. the stern-faced matron just waiting for her chance to pick a fight with the teller over a real or imagined account error; a confused soul fumbling with dozens of little bits of paper; a mother and her four-year-old about to open an account in the child’s name. You’d pick the line with the fewest number of potential line cloggers and inch (this was before metric) your way along keeping one eye on the guy in.the brown suit in the line to your jeft and the other on the blonde in the short skirt to our right. Each of you had six people between you and your goal. Whomever got there first was the winner. Line switching was common as we skipped back and forth in vain attempts to get into the fastest line with the fewest customers. Trying to outguess your fellow bankees took the un- mitigated boredom oui of being there and put some com- petitive spark into owning a bank account. Now what have we got? In the interest of lineup fairness, dispirited people slip into one long queue like sheep waiting to be sheared with nothing to do except shuffle, shuffle, shuffle and it’s dull, dull, dull. Oh, you might get a chance to peek at the amount of a fellow shuffler’s transaction as the line snakes back and forth. Or you could count the number of people both taller oe Dean Park” “transferred - .. Regional. ‘District Could it-be that, flying in the face of public “ Opposition, the’ water. commis- — ~ Should Fun taken out of b ank fi lineu; ‘furthest just to line up. THE REVIEW 9781-2nd St., Sidney B.C. and shorter than you, divide one number by the other, and if the result is .618 or $.618 you’d have a perfect lineup as defin- ed by Leonardo Fibonacci da Pisa, a 13th century mathemati- cian. Other pastimes include: grumbling. about the. myopic manager who refuses to open additional wickets and ease his customers’ tensions; reading a Russian novel; oogling a member of the opposite sex to-maybe start a romance. But that’s about all. I think it’s time banks and their customers got together and breathed some life back into their lineups. Bank managers could hand out horns and hats to create a party atmosphere. The person who toots the loudest could win a prize — money. They could encourage lineup friendships by introducing each customer to the ones both fore and aft. ‘‘I’d like you to meet Mr. Brown one of our biggest customers. He lost a lot on gold.’’ Or: ‘’Mrs. Smith this is Mrs. Jones whose husband left her with a big bundle, and I mean big.’’ Banks could also hand out free coffee and donuts, provide recreational reading material, and give prizes to the most outlandishly dressed customer or the one who travelled the Musically inclined depositors could bring their cymbals, tambourines and violins and hold impromptu concerts, or just practice. No ghetto blasters, please. Greeting others with a hearty: ‘‘leave a little in there. for me, heh;’’ or ‘‘shouldn’t you be at work now?”’ or ‘‘isn’t that the same dress you wore to the last lineup?’’ or “‘last time-I saw you in a lineup was down at the police station;’’ should inject some conversation into a silent line. It may be necessary to organize a letter writing campaign or a petition to get things moving but more extreme measures such as fasting or lying down in front of a teller until the police drag you away would not be in keeping with the overall upbeat feeling we’re trying to inject here. If all else fails, we can always go shopping. At least super- markets haven’t sunk to the single line, humdrum, holding- tank system of lining up. There the ancient art of competitive line hopping is alive and well. Maybe supermarkets should get into banking. They" d get my business. Editor: : One would have thought that two definite refusals from’ the provincial government to allow. . construction of water towers in ‘John Dean. Park. would. have .. sent drawing board to examine-the - excellent alternatives. available. to: them. outside ‘the park. But © this has not been the case. ; ‘Rumours: ‘abound athat John ied ‘going | ‘to’: be: “the = Capital: sion is promoting just sucha ~ situation: which...would enable _ them to build their “much need- ed’’ tower.in the park?: this occur, John Dean’s beautiful parkland and his wish to have it preserved as a No thanks - Editor: I’d like to thank the person: who left the black mother cat and her four kittens at the side - -Of-the road on Glamorgan near : _. the stables last week. How very Kind of you to leave them so near a busy trucking road where _ they could be hit so easily. How “kind: of you to leave: a little ‘brown two-bowl dish for them to have their last supper, How much kinderit would have been - of you to have had the mother spayed before ‘she'd | become . pregoant,- Sen ata Ut - You can rest assured. that - Jothey've found their happy hune o ~ ting home-sinee you couldn't be bothered to try, : “Sandra Phillips ; sldney eseroueeneceareianeiedraianasteninanenonweionovin el the. Saanich Peninsula. Water Commission: back to the reeeiacenmeneagiiiusesuatatadiimeaniaentant vom PENINSULA, LIFE Sone ul Lh LL n m yee of affairs place of quiet and tranquility ~ will certainly be subverted and butchered: up. with roads -and pipelines, under the excuse ‘‘the people need it’’. George ‘Westwood,'the man mostly responsible for all. this GIVE A BOUQUET. ‘unhappiness, has been unable to... “take no’? for an’ answer. For". ‘Westwood: and:: ~ some.commission. members will attempt..:to -move heaven and ~. earth to get their. pet. ‘Project. some. T eason, ° engineers not Bood enough Westwood. for It is a sad State of affairs when two provincial ministers, -- Hugh Curtis and Jack Kempf, who ‘strongly. support John Dean Park and have worked hard to keep the water tower, roads. and pipelines out, could. . be circumvented by removal of. this -park from the provincial : parks system. Obviously, this -park isin dire need of the type | Of protection afforded by the- '., Parks -Act and .therefore we would hope that this transfer of authority would not be signed by the lieutenant governor. Perhaps then the. water com- mission will-get on with their duty: of providing water” ‘Ser vices. ¥ 2% a “Rdo Nyland, Chairman, a “Friends of John Dean Park outside: started, even at ‘the expense. Ga depriving, future generations of: “an urgently needed beauty spot. - Few. cities. in. this*world have : - such beautiful water. tower-sites * “available: to them. as: the alter- ‘nate sites selected by the com- ; Mmission’s ° - John Dean Park. But, they are TAKE ASTAN D. " ARGUE A POINT. TELL EVERYONE. | "Write a letter. to” the editor of . _the Review he King Canute is alive” teamed up ‘By Tony Carlson ‘King Canute lives, in spirit at. -least. _ The venerable monarch, who. “occupied the. thrones. . England, Denmark and Norway -- ordered . 950 years ago, gave new mean- ing to the word intransigence. In fact, he may even have in- vented it. when. he sat himself down on a beach one day and, in a test of his royal will, the tides to -stop. -Canute,. who's nickname was ‘The Great, did not give up,:so “ the legend goes, until he -was thoroughly moist. Score _ yet another one for Mother Nature. But today, the great one's philosophical heirs are. finding their, voices in the. debate. on freer. trade. with. ‘States, _ Sidney _ HOH, you've. Noticed! .. .We won It at the Saanichton Fale. -but we: can't brig ourselves: to YOU- KNOW- | ~, the.U.S, “At the head of the parade are “Canadian labor leaders, Donn- ‘ing: thelr blinkers and wrapping. thernselves: in the maple. leaf, they've. been: dealing In’ fear to “try to stem a tide of progress” ~ that won't be stopped. “= Few take seriously the com: ° Pe oamenits by the Canadian) Labor” Congress head Shirley Carr that, wants. free ‘trade -with | Canada so it can realiae its” longstanding ambition to: gain control of the ymeriinwen Passage, But) many people sacrificed to the power of the economic gint to the south, not to mention the cultural identity. -— Let's leave aside for. the time. : being the fact that all this fuss~ _ about our cultural sovereignty is an insulé to thase of use who are . -eonfident ins onr: sense of sour “Canadianism™. and’ in. ability to mainiain it. Let's al: 0 acknowledge, that wba Et See ‘ katter on the Opinion Page. Be sure to sign your name and give us your phone Sesion: The Editor : the Review of. the United: : = take” to” ‘heart the horror stories of jobs loss. of: our, ; our ‘i _ Letiers io etiee. the news of the day. Letters to the Editor Ia your community forum. to hand out praise or address controvar- . aial subjects facing our community, . - state or nation. if you have something to say to residents, just write a letter to the Review . : : _tf It’s of general interest, not fdsious,: :. fepetitous and not commercial or per- agonal in nature, we will oublish your furber and address for verification © | purposes. Write, your. Jetters in 1 200 . " a "words or ess. : ; pees SO 7Bt 2nd St.; with labor there will, in a freer trade agree-°. | ment, be adjustments in the labor market. Many jobs will disappear, and that’s why. freer trade advocates like the Cana- dian Federation of Independent Business are... pressuring "for... traditional arrangements to aid _ the most vulnerable sectors. But’ many... jobs - will created, as businesses adapt to the new situation by seeking every opportunity to find a niche in the huge American market. Just as important, a freer” trade agreement will, if properly “drawn up; provide solutions to. the very problems that our labor leaders are now complaining about. Thus the bitterness caus- ed by the shakes and shingles af- fair, -orthe softwood: lumber issue, would-be simply a bad» & : memory if the proper rules‘are.. Hf agreed to by both countries. If that’ happens, business market... . thing both: management. and Jabor: can use to their benefit. More important. in the long. foo run, though, is the fact that by: Be: ‘turning. their. backs on. freer H. ° trade, labor leaders are rejecting -§ : “the future. Vf, Canadian — face the challenge from the new ” § or Upholstery $: $74, 95 economic giants emerging AN } 8 : overseas, {> 1 656-5943 Thus labor's: _intransigerice ' RESIDENT IAL. + BOATS e 7 Vv." hd * CARS © * COMMERCIAL puts us all at risk of being blind- of: an being transfornied microchip, - 1 ones Oy a? fone Rit a an MASE) be would have greater.certainty in. its attempts to crack the U.S. og and certainty ‘is. one. firms ‘cannot. :. compete with the. U.S., how. will’. ¢ they‘ever prepare themselves: to: ‘sided by the unstoppable force international cconomy: _ which is a largely on the strength of ihe Be And unlike Canute, we Wont be able to walk away with only wet underwear i worry about, es ey DOK im - weleomed by Review vite Pat gee ey mae sat tate Aan oy year fi PNPM oo . an etgtytatatata ty’ ip oh wastoaasni sates 1 net Ona) atten tate i" atele A ae ie te gs i % 5 on age a *) SRR) 268 on nate ahaa A fe ts att at niet AG : Page A5 INDUSTRIES. 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